The bitterest pill

We all have rock-star dreams. We all want to play guitar like the guy in the video Dad posted while hitting every note of our eight-octave range and doing our trademark complex, strangely mesmerizing dance called the Funky Grandpa. Decades after our debut single hits #1 in 43 countries, fans will argue endlessly over whether our just-released album redefines the standard of brilliance set by the previous 27 great albums. Nobody would mention that one ill-advised album of Motown covers. Our hits will never be used to sell athletic shoes, retirement-planning services, or impotency drugs.

Let's face it, though...chances are, this is how it would turn out.

(Original via Bill Simmons; I've edited this to include a higher-quality version someone pointed out.)